


#horny_on_main

by Zee_McZed



Category: El Goonish Shive
Genre: Ambiguously incestuous comments, Chat does factor in, Discord - Freeform, Discussion of kinks, Even if there's no explicit sex yet, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Here be sexy dragons, Horniness turns into more, Look this be kinky as FOOOOOK y'all, M/M, Multi, Not a chatfic, Seeds of polyamory, Various naughtiness, consider yourself warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:00:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee_McZed/pseuds/Zee_McZed
Summary: Tedd decides to set up a Discord server for his friends. He adds a #horny_on_main channel, mostly as a joke.He does not expect it to get used.Nor does he expect it to become the most used channel in the server.
Relationships: Ashley/Elliot Dunkel, Ellen Dunkel/Nanase Kitsune, Grace Sciuridae/Tedd Verres
Comments: 53
Kudos: 105





	1. Tedd

(Universe (5^12e^17)-1 - Uryom existence on earth known. Magic largely an unknown quantity until a year ago. Events leading up to this point are close _ ish _ to the reality we know.) 

Tedd yawned and stretched. He felt... honestly? He felt good. He felt awesome. In the last year, he'd come to terms (more or less) with his genderfluidity ( _ was that a word? It should be.. _ .), gotten more closure with his mother than he'd had in the rest of his life put together, magic had changed and he'd stopped it from changing for the worst... and now... now, he was coming off a heady victory. The immortal who had tried to kill Elliot was gone. Reset. Which meant his life had gotten a lot more peaceful in the big picture. 

In the little picture, however... 

He wandered downstairs and gave his girlfriend Grace a smooch on the cheek. She - scratch that, he - giggled and turned halfway. "Eggs are nearly done. You slept late." 

"Can you blame me?" 

"Honestly... nope." Grace gave him a wicked little grin with full-on bedroom eyes, and Tedd melted a little inside. He wasn't quite at the point where he was okay with being 'just plain bi' yet, but... well... Grace was sexy in any form. Male Variant 4 with its rippling musculature, long hair, and... impressive endowment... was no exception. Last night had not been the first they'd shared while Grace wore that form, but it was certainly one of the more _ memorable _ ones. 

For anything but the first time, Tedd reflected on how damn lucky he was. Grace had been the end result of a project called Project Lycanthrope, an idiotic attempt at making super soldiers using Uryom genetics after they came out of hiding in the 60s. Thanks to poor funding and leadership, it had taken 30-odd years before anything really happened - unfortunately by that point it was a rogue project, gone underground. And yet, despite the bizarre origin, she was pretty well adjusted. Her brothers, likewise, were adjusting to real life, though Damien would take years upon years of therapy before he was even close to ready for release. 

"Heh. So - I'm gonna set up the thing. I'll be back up for breakfast and snuggles in a minute?" 

"The thing?" 

"The... the thing." Sleepiness was the enemy of Tedd's vocabulary. "Messenger. Server. The - Discord, the thing." 

"Ohhhhhh. Oh oh _ oh _ . Okay, cool." Grace beamed. "Shouldn't take long, right?" 

"Nah. You still have the same account, right?" 

"Duh. You think I use the voice chat in Overwatch? No way Ellen and I are dealing with those randos." Grace stuck his tongue out. There were _ stories _ there. Grace didn’t use terms like “rando” most of the time. 

"Fair. Gimme fifteen, I'll have it ready." 

It had been Susan's idea. Text messages could easily be intercepted through the phone company. Discord gave them a hair more privacy, as they could use anonymous accounts, bounced through a VPN. It wouldn't give them any deniability if someone got their phones, but it was something... and the group messaging system would keep everyone in the loop better than individual texts for the big stuff. 

_ If _ big stuff came again. Tedd was really hoping it didn't. He was ready to settle down, run his lab, study magic, and try to get his degree without any further _ issues. _

He plopped down at his desk and brought up the site. New server. Name... Tedd's Basement. For a description, he decided to hedge his bets in case anyone mistyped an invite code. " _ Modern Paranormal RP server. In character only, by invite only. 18+ please _ ." That'd do. He didn't use the service much, but he still had half his friends in his list, and he quickly invited them. 

Then he took a look at the channel settings. 

General. That was... well, a default. Hmm. He added a channel for "Review_Show" so the discussion of Susan and Elliot's show wouldn't overwhelm everything else when it updated. Another for "Lab_Talk", so he could geek out over his latest findings without things getting nutty. "Rants", for... well, ranting. "Urgent", for super important stuff only. "Making_Plans", for doing just that. Making channels was a bottomless pit of possibilities. He added in "Salty_Crackers" for card shop talk and discussion of comics, and "Cute_Stuff" for cat pictures and the like. And, because it was Tedd, he snickered to himself as he added "Horny_On_Main", with the description "All the sexy stuff goes here. No judgement. Use spoilers." 

Cute. Joking. No one would use it besides him and Grace, probably, and then... why use the server when they could just talk? But Tedd was, in many ways, still the Perv Regent of Moperville. He had a reputation to live up to. 

He headed upstairs. Eggs were waiting. And then a shower. And then... 

* * *

_ The Cuter E: WOO! I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE! _

_ The Cuter E: MY CHANNEL. _

_ The Cuter E: WHICHEVER. _

_ The Cuter E: ENJOY THE HORNINESS PEEPS. _

Ellen was the first person to post there. Tedd froze, mouse hovering over the spoilered image. It had to be a joke, right? Right. Sure. Sarah and Grace had posted commentary about her rockin' tits. It had to be a picture of some birds orrrrrrr nope that was her breasts. Uh. Wow. No shame there, evidently. She was lifting her shirt, sticking her tongue out at the camera. Frankly, Ellen looked like she’d just rolled out of bed - frumpled and her hair still a mess, and with the red lines across her skin that came from wrinkled fabric mashed against one’s side in an odd position. It wasn’t posed to minimize anything, or to make herself look more _ something _ than she was - it was just - bam. Here’s ya tits. 

And they _ were _ lovely tits. 

* * *

“Are you two really analyzing the sexiness inherent in Japanese schoolgirl outfits?” Tedd was running analysis on a few enchantments, looking for similar mechanisms. While the system cooked, he was checking messages - and the Discord was proving to be pretty active already. 

Mostly the ‘joke’ channel. 

“Sure.” Grace didn’t look up from her phone. “I mean the whole ‘underage nubile young woman’ thing is totes engraved into it, but we’re trying to hit on the precise reason it’s _ that _ prevalent, even among characters that are really obviously _ not _ high school age-” She stopped herself. Tedd was typing already. 

_ T^2: Are we all forgetting the wonder that is Zettai Ryoukai?! _

_ Everyone’s Favorite Goalie: OHHHHHH. _

_ Everyone’s Favorite Goalie: But that only explains like half of it! There are other outfits that can get that going. _

_ Squirrely One: Huh? _

_ T^2: Literally “Absolute Territory”, the bare swath left between the bottom of the skirt and the top of the stockings. Basically, a schoolgirl outfit is mostly chaste and innocent, but on a girl with a nice set of legs, it makes that one strip of thigh-flesh stand out by virtue of being the only lewd thing to focus on. _

_ T^2: Assuming that the outfit _ fits _ properly and no panty flashes occur. _

_ Everyone’s Favorite Goalie: So it’s because not a lot of other outfits emphasize _ thighs! 

_T^2: You got it. At least, that’s the way I figure it? _

The discussion rapidly devolved into a question of why Japanese porn had panty fetish material so frequently - which both he and Ashley knew the details to, and… well, the discussion continued to swell. 

* * *

_ Fairyfox: It’s not that I don’t like the idea of spanking. I get the whole domination and submission thing and I generally like most of that. But when I get hit on the butt, my brain just goes into ‘oh how cute you can’t even hit me somewhere vital’ mode. _

It was midnight. Almost everyone was asleep. Tedd was dealing with a little insomnia, and had the server up, reading the chat the other night owls were having. While knowing what Nanase was into was a little weird, the whole conversation was more _ ridiculous _ than arousing. 

_ Giovanni Was Right: So if you get punched in the jaw, you go into ‘frisky post-sparring’ mode, but spanking just gets you critiquing them? _

_ Fairyfox: Yeah, basically. _

_ Fairyfox: I’m aware that’s weird, and I have made my peace with it. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: I feel that, fam. _

_ Fairyfox: Your turn! _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Okay. Uh… _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Licking. _

_ Fairyfox: Seriously?! _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Let me put it this way. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Mouth in certain places: super hot. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Kissing most places: SUUUPER hot. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Licking my armpit: wait what. _

_ Fairyfox: Oof. Cannot relate. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Pitlicking is up there on your list of delights? _

_ Fairyfox: Blame Fox. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Can you really blame someone that’s technically a part of your subconscious? _

_ Fairyfox: Yes. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: I REMAIN SKEPTICAL. _

_ Fairyfox: Skept all you want. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: “Skept”? _

_ Fairyfox: It’s a word now. BAM. _

* * *

_ Squirrely One: Feeling pretty frisky tonight. Think I’ll do something utterly unspeakable to Tedd. Wish me luck! _

The post was accompanied by a shot of Grace in some particularly scandalous white lace lingerie. Tedd felt her mouth water. She was going to have an _ incredible _ night and goodness she was barely going to make it into class tomorrow if - 

_ Fairyfox: Must be something in the water. I have sexy plans with Ellen in a few hours. Let me know how it goes! _

Wait what. 

Tedd studiously avoided clicking the picture that Nanase had put up. It was her ugly cousin. She didn’t want to see that. She really, really didn’t want to see that. 

Right? 

But the dam had broken. More posts were coming in. Ashley took a snap of her, stating that she didn’t have plans with Elliot tonight, but she kind of wished she did. Ellen posted another picture of herself and a reply that she was _ ready _ for Nanase’s plans… and… wow. The reply picture wasn’t just lewd, it was a picture of Ellen with _ legs spread, _ labia parted with her fingers, wet and _ eager. _

And then Susan posted. 

_ Hammer Queen: While I have no plans tonight, I confess that thinking about all your plans has me… shall we say ‘prepared to use the shower massage’? _

Tedd almost didn’t click. But she did. Susan’s long, trim form was everything a younger version of her had dreamed of. She chewed her lip, staring at Susan’s expression - she looked - she looked _ content, _ not nervous. _ Eager, _ even. 

_ T^2: I didn’t think you were interested in sex? _

The message was sent privately. As was the reply. 

_ Hammer Queen: I want to have sex. _

_ Hammer Queen: I want to enjoy sex. _

_ Hammer Queen: And I do thoroughly enjoy fantasies that involve thinking of other people, with myself out of the picture. _

_ Hammer Queen: I also… evidently… enjoy thinking of what others might be doing while seeing that picture. Kind of an odd catch-22 there. _

_ T^2: Kind of? I mean, I’ve heard of weirder. _

_ Hammer Queen: Hmm. _

_ Hammer Queen: One of these days I will get past this you know. _

_ T^2: You mean the touch sensitivity? _

_ Hammer Queen: And all it entails yes. _

_ T^2: Well. I mean. Yeah. _

_ T^2: Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you, right? _

_ Hammer Queen: I will. As long as you tak it over with Grace first. _

_ T^2: !!!!! _

_ Hammer Queen: Did you not mean it that way? >:) _

_ T^2: ...that was trolling. _

_ Hammer Queen: Yes. No. Perhaps. _

_ Hammer Queen: Ask me seriously sometime and you’ll find out _

_ T^2: ...are you okay? _

_ Hammer Queen: certainly? _

_ T^2: You never make typos and you’ve made like three, plus you’re dropping punctuation. _

_ T^2: Susan? _

_ Hammer Queen: I am very slightly tipsy. _

_ T^2: The hell?! _

_ Hammer Queen: Are you going to rant at me about underage drinking? _

_ Hammer Queen: I am not going to get blotto, and I am not going to make this a regular THING _

_ T^2: No but you really shouldn’t be posting nude selfies while drunk! _

That was about when Tedd noticed the wine glass in the picture, in the corner, half full, barely visible. 

_ Hammer Queen: I have been considering this since the channel opened. _

_ T^2: Seriously. _

_ Hammer Queen: Utterly. _

_ T^2: ...if you have any regrets about this in the morning tell me and I’ll make sure the picture is deleted. _

_ T^2: Okay? _

_ Hammer Queen: Tedd. _

_ Hammer Queen: Half a glass of wine does not utter inebriation make. _

_ Hammer Queen: I am relaxed. That is all. _

_ Hammer Queen: And this is the first time I have indulged in a year-plus. _

_ T^2: You drank before? _

_ Hammer Queen: Yes. Once. At a holiday party. _

_ Hammer Queen: Champagne. _

_ Hammer Queen: It was terrible. _

_ Hammer Queen: It seems I like a good, sweet red much more. _

_ T^2: Okay. So… how much are you going to drink? _

_ Hammer Queen: I was thinking just teh one glass. _

_ T^2: Okay. _

_ T^2: Mind if I come over? _

_ Hammer Queen: Tedd. _

_ Hammer Queen: You really want to come over while I am observing Shirtless O’Clock in a No-Pants Zone? _

_ T^2: I was assuming you’d get dressed. _

_ Hammer Queen: Unlikely. _

_ T^2: Now I know you’re trolling. _

_ Hammer Queen: If you are genuinely worried about me, by all means. This was not an emotional reaction to something or a desire to forget anything or what have you. _

_ Hammer Queen: Mother’s out, and I just thought I’d have a nip. _

_ T^2: I’ll be over in twenty. _

_ Hammer Queen: Door’s unlocked. _

* * *

“Up here.” Susan’s voice issued from the general direction of her room. Tedd swallowed hard. Young man, entering a girl’s house, parent not at home - it did bring to mind all manner of traditionally salacious things, even if those weren’t on the menu. He would have stayed female, but he didn’t want to give any awkward explanations if Susan’s mother had come home and he bumped into her. 

Really it would still be awkward as hell if that happened, but panic did cause people to make odd decisions. 

He kicked his shoes off, setting them next to the door, and headed upstairs. When he opened the door to Susan’s bedroom, he was - not quite _ surprised, _ but still, a part of him had expected Susan would throw something on. She had not. She was lounging on her bed, staring at the ceiling as music played that Tedd half-recognized. Folk of some stripe, but with lyrics about… what? Satellites? 

“Still on that first glass?” 

“Finished it. And… the second, which is where I have elected to stop. I’m told that it’s the third one you really have to watch out for.” She gave Tedd a peaceful-looking smile. He _ very deliberately _ made sure to look her in the eye. 

“The second might be where you have to look out for it. You were getting typos after half a drink.” 

“Implying what now?” Susan gave her best Spock impersonation, one eyebrow cocked. 

“That you’re a lightweight.” Tedd laid it out bluntly, making Susan snicker. 

“That… is something I can deal with. It means I won’t have extraneous bottles of liquor lying about when I get my own place. If I ever want to get drunk, I can get one of those single-serving wine bottles and call it good. Goodness, can you imagine what _ whisky _ would do to me?” 

“The same thing, just quicker.” 

“ _ The efficiency of it. _ ” Susan whispered in faux-awe. Sitting in her desk chair, Tedd was slowly realizing a few things. First, Susan had showered recently. Her skin had that slight reddish ‘fresh scrubbed’ look to it, and while he wanted to assume that was just alcohol flush, he could also smell her shampoo. Second, Susan was… _ definitely lucid. _ Steady. His worries drained. Really, he shouldn’t have had any to begin with. Susan wasn’t her mother. She wasn’t going to take to drinking heavily. And then he noticed that on her computer, the Discord was still up. And she had a folder open of selfies. Dozens of them. All nude. 

Tedd was, amazingly for him, not tempted to go look. On the one hand, he wanted to find out how long that she’d been taking pictures and not posting them. Was that all from tonight? Was this something that she’d been fiddling with for a while - well, quite possibly from the fact that he could see a few _ half _ outfits in a few of the thumbnails. She _ had _ said that she’d been wrestling with the urge to post a while. The curiosity was, however, completely stomped into the ground by the fact that there was presently a _ naked Susan right next to him. _ He was caught in the cross-purposes of trying not to stare, trying not to be obvious about the fact that he was staring despite his best efforts, and trying to suss out if she really was alright. And _ damnation _ the thoughts he was having. Kissing up her legs, starting at the ankle, and - NO. BAD TEDD. 

At least he couldn’t beat himself up for those thoughts. Susan was doing this deliberately, booze or not. 

“So, uh - anything you want to try while you’re on a two-drink buzz?” Aw, crapbaskets. “That came out somewhat more, uh. More suggestive than I aimed for.” 

“I gathered.” Susan laughed gently, stretching like a cat and rising to her feet. “If we’re going to be perfectly honest… _ no. _ There’s nothing pressing that I really want to try, and while this is lowering certain _ issues _ of mine in dramatic fashion, I can’t say I like the idea of using booze as a crutch that way. It’s not something I want to become a habit… you know?” 

“I can see how that might be tempting.” Tedd scooted the chair a little closer. “So we’re not doing anything crazy, nudity aside.” 

“And this is just _ nice. _ ” Susan mumbled, seemingly to herself. 

“Do you… I dunno… just want to hang out, not-figuratively watch Netflix and chill?” 

“That… depends.” Susan squinted. 

“On?” 

“How do you feel about the Vic Fontaine episodes of Deep Space Nine?” 

“ _ Love _ `em. Anything centered around Quark’s is awesome.” 

“Then let’s.” She headed for the stairs, her normally tightly graceful gait swinging wider. Still graceful, but… it was weirdly… _ noodly. _ Like Susan’s legs had spaghetti inside them somehow. And Tedd was halfway down the stairs before he processed that, yes, he was still _ staring _ at Susan’s legs, and not for _ that _ reason. Though that reason was definitely stewing in the back of his head. 

Popcorn. They needed popcorn. 

* * *

“She’s really fine?” 

“Copacetic.” Tedd shrugged. Grace gave him a firm hug, which he reciprocated. “She wasn’t bullshitting… she just wanted to try some wine while she wasn’t going to go out.” 

“Okay. Okay, cool.” Grace took a deep breath. “Did you smooch?” 

“What? No!” 

“Aww.” 

“Grace…” He rested her forehead against his squirrely girlfriend’s. “We gotta have a talk about your attempts to get me to kiss other people.” 

“You like `em, though.” 

“...maybe.” 

“You dooooo.” Grace chimed, sing-song. 

“Grace. No smooching was had. We hung out, we watched some DS9 and some Kamen Rider, I made snacks, and she fell asleep.” 

“...was she naked the whole time?” Tedd’s face went redder. 

“Like. Half the time. Maybe.” 

“ _ Nice. _ ” 

“And…” Tedd fidgeted. “She, um. She _ did _ hug me, after she put a robe on. Which for Susan…” 

“Means a whole lot.” Grace beamed. She was _ ecstatic _ from the revelation. “Why?” 

“Why what?” 

“ _ Tedd. _ ” 

“Okay, okay. It was before she headed up to bed. She just… hugged me. And said thanks for being concerned about her, even if it wasn’t needed. That was it.” Tedd shrugged, as Grace started to squee quietly, excusing herself from the room rapidly. “Grace? G… GRACE. That _ squee _ sounded ominous. Grace. What are you planning!?” 

* * *

_ Squirrely One: Open question. _

_ Squirrely One: If you could have sex with anyone in our friend group, no boundaries, who would be your first picks? _

Tedd’s face went pale. Grace wasn’t. She couldn’t be. She - _ this _ is what she was - 

_ The Cuter E: Tedd, Elliot, Susan. I’d say Justin but he’s not interested. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Elliot, Tedd, and Susan in Mv5. You’d pick your brother? _

_ The Cuter E: She DID say no boundaries. El’s gothy side is super hot. _

_ Punch Puncher: she isnt wrong _

_ Punch Puncher: still _

_ The Cuter E: Oh like you haven’t thought about it. ;) _

_ Punch Puncher: ELLEN _

_ Fairyfox: Sarah, Susan, Grace? And, uh. Are we just sticking with three? _

_ Squirrely One: Nah. _

_ Fairyfox: Tedd. _

Tedd felt lightheaded. 

_ Your Favorite Goalie: I really don’t think there’s anyone I wouldn’t at least be willing to snog. _

_ Your Favorite Goalie: Assuming everyone was okay with it. _

_ Punch Puncher: Tedd. And Susan. And, uh. _

_ Punch Puncher: Maybe what Ashley said? _

Tedd’s fingers felt numb. He typed. 

_ T^2: Maybe agreed? _

_ The Squirrely One: And agreed. :) _

_ The Squirrely One: So I’m going to put this out there: Anyone that wants to smooch Tedd is totally allowed to from my point of view as long as you tell me. _

There wasn’t much of a conversation in the channel for the next hour. Tedd assumed that people were chatting in private. Until the channel blinked once more. 

_ Artists Anonymous: HOW THE @#!^#!$^ DID I MISS THIS CONVERSATION!? _

_ Hammer Queen: You have an answer? _

_ Artists Anonymous: Uh. _

_ Artists Anonymous: Several, yeah. _

_ Hammer Queen: :) _

_ Artists Anonymous: Don’t look so smug. _

_ Hammer Queen: That’s hard. These little yellow bastards always look smug. _

* * *

Tedd assumed that things would be weird after that. 

They were not. 

No one acted on the confession. There was just a sudden awareness of ‘oh they think I’m hot’, or something to that nature. Tedd slowly grew aware of Elliot more. Elliot… _ seemed _ to do the same for Tedd. 

And Ellen grabbed his ass a lot more. 

A low level of, for lack of a better term, _ horniness _ had infected the other channels, but most of it stayed in #horny_on_main. Little of it was _ directed _ at anyone, it was just kind of… there. Simmering. Nudes showed up occasionally. People made jokes and commented on them. Everything felt comfortable. 

Then Elliot posted one. 

_ Punch Puncher (Goth Queen): The world is cold, but my bosom is warm. Come to the embrace of your dark goddess. _

His goth alter ego, busty and smouldering, in a corset that hid _ nothing _ and fishnet stockings, giving the camera a come-hither stare. Tedd just sort of stared a few seconds, letting himself process what he was seeing. People were already making comments. 

_ T^2: Never thought I’d see you posting this sort of thing! I think I’ve finally rubbed off on you. _

Right, glib was good. Glib was safe. Glib… got a response. 

_ Punch Puncher (Goth Queen): In the first part: _

_ Punch Puncher (Goth Queen): This… feels… good, right? _

_ Punch Puncher (Goth Queen): And in the second, you haven’t posted _ any _ nudes, just discussion on kinks! _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Hear hear. _

_ Punch Puncher (Goth Queen): You just want Tedd to post nudes because no one’s posted any guy nudes yet. _

_ Giovanni Was Right: Duh. You show off an objectively-gorgeous goth form like that, but I don’t get a hot goth boi to ogle. _

_ Punch Puncher (Goth Queen): ...just a sec. _

He wasn’t going to. Surely he wasn’t. But a second later, Elliot posted a nude of himself - definitely _ him _ this time - in a form that Grace must have designed. _ Teddish, _ but slightly more muscular. Still femmy. Long black hair, fishnet gloves and the same stockings, and… decently… well… hung. Tedd found himself focusing on that just a moment - long enough to confirm that it was not _ his _ dick that he was looking at. 

Was that just _ Elliot? _ Was that untransformed? 

Tedd wasn’t sure how to feel about returning to that photo repeatedly through the rest of the evening. 

* * *

“I think it’s just because I have that whole… _ guilt… _ thing.” Elliot shrugged, as Ellen shuffled the cards. 

“Guilt?” 

“Until last night, Elliot _ failed _ at perversion. Every time he’d fantasize about a girl, he’d start feeling guilty.” Ellen interrupted, shuffling the massive stack of 3x5 cards. “But then! _ Exhibitionism! _ Elliot’s perv-muse was finally struck! The camera _ loved _ her! And him! All of him!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Elliot laughed, scratching at the back of his head sheepishly. “It was just fun, you know? And, uh. Yeah, making _ myself _ the object of the fantasy… it… it _ worked. _ ” 

“I feel you there, fam.” Susan nodded. Diane snorted. 

“You just used _ fam _ in casual conversation. You’ve been reading the comments on your channel again, haven’t you?” 

“...perhaps.” Susan conceded. “Speaking of… are you going to stop lurking and post?” 

“I post on your channel.” 

“In the Discord.” Tedd hadn’t known that they’d invited Diane until he checked the server log that morning. She had remained silent. 

“...maybe. But don’t think you’re getting any nudes out of me that easily.” 

“Aw, c’mon.” Ellen purred. “You’re getting all the nudes of my girlfriend.” 

“She put them out there!” Diane protested. Sarah set down a few bags of chips as she came in. 

“Are we ready to go?” She interjected, taking a seat next to Ellen. 

“Hells yeah. The game is ‘Ten Thousand Blank White Cards against Humanity.’ Which is the same as Cards Against Humanity, but we only use the _ black _ cards, and write our own white cards. There’s like a hundred odd cards that are around from the last time we played, but most of them are blank.” Ellen passed around markers and dealt the cards quickly. All of Tedd’s were blank except one - “Nanase’s clone sex fixation.” 

He didn’t need to know she had that. Dammit. Now it was going to be stuck in his head. 

“Blank.” Elliot read off the first black card. “Hours of fun! Easy to use! Perfect for _ another blank. _ ” Tedd tapped his chin a second, and squiggled his responses on a pair of cards, passing them in. No one was going particularly slow. Elliot gathered the cards and read them. “ _ Elliot! _ Hours of fun! Easy to use! Perfect for _ the porn fiend in all of us _ !” He snorted, moving to the next. “ _ Beer _ ! Hours of fun! Easy to use! Perfect for _ when you want to pee for like an hour straight _ !” He raised an eyebrow at Susan, who didn’t react - probably not hers? “ _ Sarah’s biggest, purplest Bad Dragon dildo _ ! Hours of fun! Easy to use! Perfect for _ size queens _ !” 

“ELLEN!” Sarah blurted. 

“What? You didn’t go with the purple one?” Oh, now that was a mental image. Tedd blushed _ intensely _ as Sarah sputtered something about telling her that in confidence, and Elliot tried to continue on. 

“ _ The T.F. Gun _ ! Hours of fun, easy to use, perfect for _ uncovering latent bisexuality _ !” 

“Truth.” Susan nodded, crossing her arms. 

“And… _ Nostril sex. _ Hours of fun, easy to use, perfect for _ cold and allergy season. _ Um. Okay, that one wins for _ sheer depravity. _ ” 

“Yus.” Susan fist pumped, gathering her black card - as Tedd clapped. 

“That…” He shook his head. “Is a level of _ twisted _ I didn’t know you could get to.” 

“You haven’t played this game with me before, have you?” 

* * *

“When I was a kid, we used to play Cowboys and… _ horsecock _ again?” 

“If two people write the same thing, does it cancel out?” 

* * *

“What killed my boner? ... _ Transforming into a girl. _ Okay. _ Technically, _ this works.” 

“The best kind of working!” 

* * *

“Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me _ chocolate to exchange for Grace cuddles. _ ” 

“Blasphemy! Grace cuddles cannot be bought, only _ received. _ ” 

* * *

“And in the end, the dragon was not evil - he only wanted _ Tedd’s sweet, sweet ass. _ ” 

“Ellen. You’re the card czar, you can’t add your own white card to this round.” 

“ _ I didn’t! _ ” 

* * *

“All classes today are cancelled due to _ a fairy doll orgy. _ ” 

“Hey, have you actually tried that yet?” 

“No. The thought _ has _ occurred to me, but one thing is stopping me.” 

“...which… would be?” 

“Fairy doll unsummoning is loud, and I don’t know if _ fairy doll orgasms _ could trigger it.” 

* * *

“I think, therefore I am thinking about _ the budding sexual tension between Diane and Sarah- _ come on, guys. There totally isn’t.” 

“Sure there is.” 

“...thanks, Diane.” 

“No problem.” 

* * *

“You used _ clone sex! _ It’s super effective!” 

“That’s the fifth response about clones having sex we’ve gotten in four black cards.” 

“I think they’re trying to suggest something.” 

* * *

“How many points are we playing to?” 

“Oh, we’re in _ Whose Line _ mode. All the white cards are made up, and the points don’t matter. Just like Grace’s wardrobe as soon as it hits 80 degrees.” 

* * *

“ _ Elliot’s hot mom, _ plus _ Copious amounts of baby oil, _ equals _ awkward episodes of the Review Show for at least a month- _ I think we have another point for Susan.” 

“I did warn you.” 

“You’re fantasizing about my mom now?” 

“And? Show of hands, who here thinks Mrs. Dunkel is super-cute?” 

“...traitors, all of y- _ Ellen, _ come on!” 

“What? We’ve got good genes, there’s no shame there.” 

* * *

“I’m not reading this one.” 

“You should at least try.” 

“You managed to write ‘butts’ on it… how many times? There’s gotta be at least a few hundred on here.” 

“And you wondered why I grabbed the tiny micron pen.” 

* * *

“I’ll start posting more often. Promise.” 

“Or, you know, posting at all?” Tedd prodded. 

“Yeah. Something like that..” She trailed off. Cleared her throat. “I’m telling Lucy about all this soon. I don’t think she’ll need the full Ashley party, but…” 

“We’ll help you out, sure.” Susan fished her keys out of her pocket. “Ready?” 

“Yeah. Thanks again, guys.” 

“Any time.” Ellen chimed, still shuffling all the index cards together. The party was down to four, though _ party _ was pushing it. Sarah. Elliot. Ellen. Tedd felt comfortable there. He knew that he could say anything. Especially after the pump was primed with the most inappropriate card game in existence. 

“Hey. So, uh…” He scratched at the back of his head. “...you… took all the sexy photos of Elliot, yeah?” 

“I did.” Ellen’s eyebrows bobbed up and down. “And a few more that didn’t get posted.” Tedd blinked a few times as the thought curled through his mind. He glanced over at Elliot - who was slightly red in the cheeks, but not sinking into the chair from embarrassment. 

“Before you ask - just more photos of the same forms and outfits, just posed differently.” 

“Oh. Gotcha.” He drummed his fingers on the table. Dammit. He’d talked this over with Grace, why was this so hard… “Soooo do you take appointments, or is it on a walk-in basis?” 

“...za?” Elliot blurted. 

“For, uh. Boudoir photography.” Elliot looked stunned. Ellen looked like she was about to vibrate out of her skin. And Sarah was… blushing _ . _ All the way to her ears. 

“You want me to take sexy pictures of you.” Ellen said, scooting the slightest bit closer. 

“Yeah.” 

“ _ Yoooou… _ want me to make you feel _ ravishing. _ You want to be painted with the brush that is my phone camera, and you want me to -” 

“Can we drop the bad French accent?” 

_ “Non! _ ” What was vauge a moment ago became overblown and melodramatic. _ “ _ It eez required for sexy boudoir photographers.” Ellen slammed her hands on the table. “And a sexy boudoir photographer am moi! Come! I shall immortalize you in scandalous sexiness for the server to see! Elliot, Sarah, come along! My genius requires _ witnesses!” _ Sarah looked at Tedd, who threw her a helpless grin. That… was not how he’d anticipated things going. 

Then again, he couldn’t have guessed _ what _ would happen. 

* * *

“ _ Paralyzed? _ ” 

“I couldn’t do anything, they couldn’t do anything. We just got swept up in Ellen’s photo-fugue. I mean, they’re hot, but…” 

“But?” Grace squeezed Tedd tighter. 

“But it was _ all _ kinds of awkward.” Tedd flopped into her arms. “I wanted it to be sexy fun like you suggested, and I just… choked.” Grace snuggled him firmly, shaking her head. 

“Not at all what I guessed had happened.” 

“I know, y- wait, what had you guessed?” 

“Uh. From the thread?” Grace grinned. “I thought you guys ended up _ doin’ the do. _ ” A long beat passed. Tedd bolted to the computer. There was the photo of him - or one of numerous. It was impossible to tell if he was male or female in the picture (female, if it mattered), with her back turned like that. She was glancing back with a blush and a coy expression, legs curled to one side, rear… well, Tedd did have a cute booty, regardless of form. 

And the comments. 

Sarah was gushing about how she nearly _ spontaneously combusted, _ and how she wished she could drag Tedd back so she could _ tackle _ her. Elliot was being rather quiet, but Tedd got the feeling from the few comments he’d made that he felt _ similarly. _ Nanase’s comment was just _ I’ll be in my bunk. _ And Ellen… had... 

Had just stated that ‘next time we’re breaking this channel’s hardcore-content virginity!’ 

Oh. 

Oh fuck. 

Had he just _ overthought _ the awkward? Had the others _ not felt it? _ Or maybe they’d felt it at the start, and… well his booty was cute, but _ was it that cute? _ Did he have the _ legendary tush of awkwardslaying? _ It was a weird thought, and it stuck around. Grace, meanwhile, wrapped her arms around Tedd from the rear, and kissed his cheek. 

“You know, we can beat Ellen to the punch if you want…” 

“Za?” He turned to Grace. Blinked. And the thought damn near overwhelmed him. “You want to take pictures of us…” 

“Mmmhm.” 

“...are you trying to kill Sarah? She’s _ literally _ going to explode if we do that.” 

“Tell her to save the pieces. We’ll stick `em back together later.” Grace swept him up in a bridal carry, and he started to nibble at her neck. His friends were okay with his level of ‘perversion’. Hell, they _ surpassed _ it most of the time. And now… now they were _ okay with talking about that. _

It felt like a step in the right direction. He just didn’t know what the destination was. 

Well. The ultimate destination. The short term destination was his bed. 

* * *


	2. Lucy (Just Lucy) has joined the server!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy has a peculiar day.

"So the short version is... magic is real." 

"Lovely." 

"And most of Susan's friends are practically swimming in it."

"Right."

"And, uh... yeah. Evidently..." Diane trailed off, scratching at the back of her head. Lucy sighed, rubbing her temples. This was awkward. This was super-awkward. Lucy coughed. 

"Can't we just get a TF gun to shrink me down? I mean, I don't have a license, but someone out there has to have one."

"Well. Yeah. But I think they wanna make sure that your new form isn't permanent. That way when the zap wears off-"

"I don't break ceilings." Lucy nodded slowly. "Okay. Fair enough." She pulled the blanket closer over her breasts. It was, of course, mostly hyperbole. Lucy was presently standing a good eight and a half feet tall, her figure going from 'curvy' to 'maddeningly curvaceous', bordering on 'fertility goddess statue'. The tail was new too, as was the smattering of scales running down her back and shoulders. And the claws... 

"Sorry again."

"For what?"

"Not telling you sooner."

"Given the number of FBI agents out front, I think you had a good excuse."

"We aren't FBI, Miss." A short man with a bushy mustache walked in - Tedd's dad, that was right. Diane crossed her arms.

"So..." Lucy prompted.

"So we're officially blaming this on a prankster with a hacked Uryuom type-4 TF device, and we're releasing a statement reaffirming that transformation of the unwilling counts as battery. And sexual harrassment in certain cases." He nudged his glasses upwards. "The store will be compensated for the damage to the changing room, minor as it is, and we'll have a specialist look you over in regards to your... new form." He cleared his throat. "Diane, you gave her the short version?"

"Yessir." 

"Good, good." He crossed his arms behind him. "I have a specialist coming in to restore your size temporarily. From here, we're going to head back to the labs to make sure that your... draconic bits... are something you'll be able to deal with. Does that sound good?"

"I don't think I can complain. Random spontaneous dragonification isn't something I'm built to deal with." 

"Few are." He gave her a thin, tight-lipped smile, walking out again. Diane could hear him talking to someone on the other side of the door. "...and bring the sweatshirt, she'll..." 

"The agent's bringing a change of clothes in." Diane said to Lucy.

"Thank God. I didn't want to walk through the crowd in a blanket."

"There might not be a crowd."

"There's a bunch of government agents packed in around a dressing room. At the mall. There's a crowd."

"...there's probably a crowd..." Diane relented, as the door to the dressing room opened again. Diane's eyes widened. "Pup?"

"Hey." Rhoda waved, almost maddeningly nonchalant. There was no mistaking her. Diane's second closest friend, small and a little sheepish and actually kind of killing it in the suit she was wearing. A taller ginger girl next to her sputtered briefly.

"You're the vic? I thought- jeez, you'd THINK Mister V woulda mentioned THAT." Catalina planted her hands on her hips. 

"You're an agent?!" Lucy blurted, shifting onto her knees, staring at Rhoda.

"I'm a civillian contractor. A specialist. Well - for the moment, anyway" She raised a hand, and Lucy felt herself DWINDLING, her body shrinking from 'massive' to 'normal'... to 'shortish'. When she was done, Rhoda was actually taller than her. She handed her an oversized hoodie, now spectacularly oversized. "This'll do for now, I hope? They're super fluffy inside."

"...sure." Lucy mumbled after a few seconds of gawking at Rhoda. A hand extended to snag the hoodie and she turned around, pulling the blanket over her head to dress. For a second, no one talked. When the blanket was removed, Rhoda cocked her head to one side. 

"Okay. Three point formation. Diane to the right, Catalina to the left, I'm in front. We're going out through the stock room and the loading entrance. That way we avoid the crowd entirely. Car's waiting. We can pick up your car later this evening. Everyone ready?" 

"My purse-"

"Got it." Diane bobbed back, lifting the chunky thing. Lucy swallowed hard. 

"Ready."

Through the store, just barely. Five steps and into the back. Out behind the mall. Escorted to the parking lot, and into a waiting SUV. The doors closed. Lucy finally let herself breathe freely. "...you can do magic." Lucy said. 

"Yes." Rhoda grinned. "It's always the ones you don't expect."

"Except me, `cause people TOTALLY expect me to be able to turn itno a catgirl." Catalina piped up - and - huh. Okay, yes, she had cat ears. Lucy hadn't noticed that for a second. They just looked natural on her. 

"How long have you been keeping this under wraps? You got pissed at us over the whole transparent closet thing-" Lucy started, interrupted sharply by Rhoda.

"Not as long as that, no." She rolled her eyes. "It's been a while, but I don't have an exact time. I think I got my magic and didn't realize it for a long time." She picked up a squishy stress ball from the cup holder and made it swell to the size of a bowling ball, before tossing it back at Diane. Diane just looked down at the ball a moment, gave it a squeeze, and set it aside. 

"I've been pretty oblivious." Diane thought aloud.

"No, I've just been a lot better at hiding it than, say, Nanase." Rhoda beamed. "There's a reason the Agency hasn't hired her on."

"They know about her?" 

"Sure. I mean, Mr. Verres is her uncle-"

"That's Tedd's dad?" Lucy asked.

"Mmmm-hm." Silence lapsed over the car as Lucy started to piece things together. She really needed more time to process everything she'd learned in the last hour, and she was not going to get that time until much later. 

-o-

"Incoming, Boss." Catalina yelled down the hallway, her ears briefly going flat. Diane winced, probing into her ear with the tip of a pinky.

"Couldn't you just call?"

"Nah, the boss keeps their phone off like half the time anyway. They cool, though."

"And the boss would b-" Diane stopped short in the doorway. "TEDD?!" 

"Hey." She waved at Diane, before nudging her glasses up on her nose. "Come on down, make yourselves at home."

"What the h- is this the campus lab?"

"Yeah. You'd never know how much room they gave us underground." Tedd grinned. "Don't let it bug you too much. Oh, and don't drink any sodas you find lying around."

"...why?"

"Dr. Germahn has a thing for making 'shrink soda'. Definite mad science territory. I'm not much better, sure, but I don't leave mine lying around..." She opened a pair of glass doors; there was a brief WHOOSH of air as a pressure seal broke. The lab inside was cluttered, but controllably so. You could smell the rubbing alcohol in the air - and also something spicy. Mexican? Someone's leftovers. So not exactly sterile. Tedd gestured to something on the ground - a Wii balance board, plugged into a chunky looking computer. "Let's start out with some readings. Hop on." 

"To the video game peripheral."

"Magic is weird and we all have our affinities. Mine is for bodged together magitek. Now hop on." Lucy let out a frustrated little puff of air and did so, as Tedd slid into a chair and started hammering at a keyboard. "...hey Rhoda, could you...?"

"Oh - right." She raised a hand and Lucy returned to her massively oversized state - stretching the sweatshirt to the point where it was almost poppi- nope, just POPPING. The zipper was not meant to handle that much flesh pressing against it. Lucy let out a squeak and moved to cover herself. 

"Rhoda!" 

"What?" She batted her eyes innocently.

"You couldn't give me warning?"

"For what it's worth, we see a lllllot of nudity around here." Tedd mumbled, getting entirely too close to the computer screen. 

"You what?"

"Shrink soda, growth phosphates, catgirl freeze, Tea-" She could hear the capital 't' there, and she did not question how. "-and all kinds of other magical goodies that leave clothes fitting weirdly if at all. It happens. Also, I have a lot of friends that are borderline-exhibitionist."

"...wait, really?" Lucy's cheeks burned. Diane coughed.

"Yeah, they, uh... they have a Discord server to talk about magic stuff-"

"You're invited, by the way." Tedd added. 

"-and there's an off topic channel basically reserved for nude selfies. She's not kidding. At all."

"...have you posted any?" Lucy asked bluntly.

"What? No!" Diane blurted. "I - I mean I've - not without you knowing about it, that'd be-"

"I get it. Okay." Lucy sighed, visibly relaxing. Awkward, but far from the weirdest thing she'd heard. "You actually want to?"

"I mean... sort of. Kind of. It's one of those things where it might be fun in a weird way, but it's also a little out of my comfort zone. They - they have a whole polyamorous thing going on that's - I'm not really a part of that, so." Tedd froze and stopped typing. 

"It's - it's not really poly."

"It totally is, chief." Catalina grinned, punching her shoulder. Tedd sighed. 

"It kinda is. Like. Pre-polyamory. Just. Kinda open to that."

"Are - are you...?" Lucy managed to point at Catalina, despite keeping her arm clamped over her half-exposed bust.

"On the server, or poly? `Cause we are on the Discord, and we aren't a part of Tedd's thing." Rhoda answered. 

"Not that we're ruling it out entirely, just - y'know, only been on the server a few days. Kind of a new idea for us." Catalina said. It was hard to say if she was teasing or not. The little bit of a blush suggested she was, perhaps, not. 

"Can - can we get back to the dragon... bits?" Diane broke in before anyone else could continue the discussion.

"Well good news there - it's an enchantment." Tedd rubbed her brow. "Looks like something caused an awakening in you." 

"An..." Lucy prodded. 

"A 'you got magic now' event. Normally that stuff is the result of intense training to get magic or an immortal messing with you, but this looks like an improper awakening - that's just about any other way it could happen - so you spontaneously cast the spell on yourself."

"Immortals are a thing?"

"Remember the crazy looking girl from the news?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, them. Some are benevolent, some are jerks. But this wasn't one of them, because they cause proper awakenings with their methodology. This is something you were in contact with that hit you with a big spike of magical mojo." Tedd rubbed her brow. "Did you pick up any weird antiques lately?"

"No."

"Visit any old bookstores?"

"Just the one by campus, and I don't think pulp fantasy paperbacks fit the mold."

"Not really. Well, not usually. Go anywhere out of the ordinary for you?"

"Not lately."

"Lovely. Alright, that means-" Tedd rummaged in a drawer and pulled out a bright pink key fob with a blinky light on it. "You need to keep this with you for the next few weeks."

"This is..."

"An ambient magic field detector. It'll start beeping like nuts if it's around a potent magical item or area - call me if that happens."

"...okay. And that's just to figure out what did... this to me, right?"

"Exactly."

"And how do I change back?" Lucy squirmed, still quite uncomfortable. Though it was almost nice having Diane pretend she wasn't ogling her, and even Rhoda was - GAH! She'd think about that later, not now!

"Focus on changing back, really. That's, uh... that's it." Tedd shrugged. "Failing that, you'll change back on your own. But once you figure out how to do it, you're going to need to cast that spell on yourself over and over again a couple times a day to prevent uncontrolled-"

"One thing at a time?"

"Right, right. Just try to turn yourself back." She sat down, cross-legged, and sighed. 

"Okay." Lucy sighed. "Can... can we talk about something else while I try this?"

"Sure." Tedd sat back in her chair. "What's on your mind?"

"How much time do you spend transformed?" Tedd blinked a few times at that question. Lucy almost missed it as she closed her eyes, thinking about turning back, but not overfocusing. Trying to hit that sweet spot. It was probably a natural thing, right? Not forced. 

"Uh... well, in one way or another, a lot." Tedd coughed. "I haven't thought about actual time in alternate forms a lot."

"Just - I've seen you at school as a boy before, at least once." There was a soft thump. Lucy opened an eye. Tedd was face down on the desk. 

"I'm a boy almost all the time at school."

"...oh." 

"He IS that androgynous half the time." Diane jumped in to defend Lucy, while Lucy waved it off. 

"Sorry."

"It's cool." He sighed. "I've made peace with the fact that I'm cute and kinda girly." A beat passed. "...looks like you're good?"

"I am?" Lucy looked down - and broke into a grin. "Hey! I did it!" 

"Now try turning back." She gave Tedd a mortified look.

"Really?"

"Gotta turn back and forth a few times. That way we know that you can flip this around like a light switch if you need to. And you'll need to sleep in giant mode for a while until the magic buildups go away - ah, the whole 'casting spells on yourself randomly' thing, so-"

"So shifting back and forth. And investing in a bunch of cushions to lay out on my floor, evidently." Lucy sighed. "...okay. Okay, let's - let's do this."

-o-

Lucy (Just Lucy): I'm not sure if this server is filthy or adorable.  
T^2: What do you mean?  
Lucy (Just Lucy): #horny_on_main. It's full of nudes and suggestive shots and discussions of kinkiness and it's almost ridiculously pure.   
T^2: "Pure" isn't a word I'd use to describe it.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): But it is! There's nothing twisted or wrong in there. You go anywhere else and there's at least one mention of something really... really freaky that just scuzzes you out, but the weirdest thing in here is the flirting between Elliot and Ellen.  
Lucy (Just Lucy): And even that might be a joke.

Tedd chewed his lip. He wanted to suggest that it was, but he really, really wasn't sure. It was hard to tell with Ellen most of the time. 

T^2: So 'sexy but not creepy', in other words?   
Lucy (Just Lucy): That's a good way to put it.  
T^2: Still not sure that 'pure' is the best term for it, but I'll take it.   
T^2: Have you taken a look around the rest of the Discord?  
Lucy (Just Lucy): Sure, but that's where half the posts are.   
T^2: It's not that much of a difference, is it?   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Uh. Yes. 

Was it? Tedd pulled up the server details, and let out a low whistle. Well. Lucy was wrong. That channel wasn't half the server's posts. It was more like 70%. There WERE discussions elsewhere, in every channel, but they all wound back to #horny_on_main eventually. 

That... probably said a lot. 

T^2: ...fair.  
Lucy (Just Lucy): So have you figured out how you're going to spin it?  
T^2: Spin what?   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Dating multiple people. I mean, Catalina's right. The way everything's worded it's 'oh tee hee I would totally be okay with having sex with everyone here' but there's definitely some romantic overtones in there. 

Yikes. No wonder Diane was attracted to her. Lucy was pretty quick on the uptake. Tedd folded his hands, considering his response carefully. It wasn't as if this was biting him in the ass out of nowhere, he'd been pondering this since... since a while ago. 

T^2: Nah.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): As in "we haven't considered the details", or...?  
T^2: That's the one. We'll figure it out when we start off. Right now we're at a kind of Mexican standoff, with no one wanting to make the first move.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): ...you didn't check the channel today, did you?  
T^2: I mean earlier this morning I did but now I'm going to have to check again.

And clearly he did. Wow. 

Ashley was going out with Ellen tonight? When had he missed that connection? He tilted his head to the side a moment, thinking - and there was probably something there that he had missed (there WERE a lot of conversations back and forth and things he couldn't see in private messages after all) but still. 

Wow. 

And Nanase was fully supportive, judging by the cutesy "I expect there to be kissing.

T^2: Okay that is totally some poly branching out going on there.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): That it is.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): I'm starting to think I'm talking to the wrong person about how to look at it when you're starting this off.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Isn't Grace part Uryuom?  
T^2: Yeah. 

And that brought several lines of thought full circle. Maybe... 

T^2: I mean in all honesty, if I'm going to go full poly, I'm talking to Grace first. I'm devoted to her first and foremost.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Aww. :)   
T^2: :P   
Lucy (Just Lucy): That wasn't sarcastic.   
T^2: It's hard to tell with smiley faces, sorry.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): True enough. So you're planning on letting Grace help guide you through it?  
T^2: Well, we're going to kind of fumble through it together. I mean, Grace wasn't raised in Uryuom society, so she's still piecing things together too.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Oh.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Long story?  
T^2: Long and it will make you want to hug Grace uncontrollably, so probably not something for chat.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Then I'll ask her about it later. Much later. And I... will forge ahead with asking Diane about some other things.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Thanks.   
T^2: Glad I could help? 

Honestly, he didn't feel like that'd helped much. Tedd shook his head, scrolling through the chat. 

-o-

Lucy (Just Lucy): So, I have to be Dragon-ey when I go to sleep for a while.   
NoBottleBlonde: How are you planning on making that work?  
Lucy (Just Lucy): I broke down the futon frame and put it up in the closet. Futon's on the floor. And I got a bunch of cushions set up around it, so I basically have a giant cushion pile to sleep in.   
NoBottleBlonde: Practical and luxurious. I wish I could be over there to snuggle in with you.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Likewise. Hey, are we planning on moving in together this year?   
NoBottleBlonde: I want to, but rent is expensive and we're going to school in town. So probably not.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Pity.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Still, if I can swing it... maybe I'll get a place with someone else. Share the rent. Somewhere you can come over after class.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): And... study.   
NoBottleBlonde: I want to disapprove of spending that much just so we can have uninterrupted makeouts but it's really hard.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Want me to make it even harder?   
NoBottleBlonde: Yes?

Lucy raised the tablet above her and snapped a photo, then sent it. A little clumsy, but it worked. And there was Dragon-Lucy, sprawled out on her pillow hoard, oversized tee shirt stretched to near bursting, leg raised to the point where it was tricky to see if she was wearing panties or not, giving the camera a very sly smile. 

Diane's reply took several minutes. 

NoBottleBlonde: So the best rate I could find on a rental is $2200 a month, but that's for a four bedroom, and there's a finished basement that could serve as a fifth bedroom pretty easily.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): I must be careful to not abuse this power.   
NoBottleBlonde: Abuse away. Damn.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): You want me to share this with the rest of the server? Because I'm sure I could bring more people in to serve as my draconic thralls...  
NoBottleBlonde: :P That's not a thing.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Shh. Kinky stupid fantasies don't need logic.   
NoBottleBlonde: Hey, if you're feeling good about your new enchanted self, then... knock yourself out?   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Honestly I feel insecure as HELL about it, but getting some positive reactions out of people makes me feel a little better.   
NoBottleBlonde: ...oh. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?  
NoBottleBlonde: Besides the positive feedback?  
NoBottleBlonde: Because I want to say you're gorgeous and you should never feel insecure about looking like a Sumerian dragon goddess.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): And now it's my turn to :P   
Lucy (Just Lucy): I'll be fine. Just give me some time to get used to it.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): And maybe get me back into the lab so I can smuggle out a 12-pack of shrink soda sometime.   
NoBottleBlonde: I think you can get in by just showing up at this point.   
Lucy (Just Lucy): Well if not, I expect you to pull some strings.   
NoBottleBlonde: If I must. 

-o-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I'm not 100% happy with this, I've been waiting far too long to update, and this sets me up well enough for the next chapter. :B


End file.
